We are going to be fighting again, I can feel it. I can feel it rumble beneath my feet, I can feel it shake our apartment.
Something is brewing. But what?
Varendil thinks the world is going to break apart and the evidence points to that. Thrall leaving for Outland. Elementals invading. People disappearing. Aestiah has gone missing, along with her brother. I do hope her daughter is okay, I haven’t seen her either. She’s a strong woman, I know she didn’t join that cult, but still, I worry.
Light, a few nights ago, I fought along side Scourge to defeat some elementals that tried to attack an Argent camp in Zul’Drak. Along side Scourge! I, of course, killed the ghouls after I was done defending the camp, but it still doesn’t make the shock any less. Even the mindless zombies of Northrend fear these things.
Varendil moved our savings to a Scryer’s bank a few nights ago, since Outland is a little safer that Azeroth is at the moment. I don’t know if Varendil remembered I am a member of the Aldor, hopefully my kin will allow me to withdraw from our savings. Our gold is there, our family heirlooms, the tabard of Lissa, the journals of Sal, all the important things we don’t want to loose when this world does break apart.
I don’t know what’s going to happen. For a while, things were going to well. Varendil and I had our little apartment, I had my work with the new buildings in the Plaguelands and all the paperwork that goes along with it. Varendil looked so happy and content just staying in Silvermoon but I wasn’t as happy. Being a housewife isn’t my dream job and it never was, no matter how much I lie to myself. I’ve fought for so many years, I can’t just hang up my quiver and bow that easily. Light, I even took up the job of training Torky in the ways of the Ranger and the Scout just to pass the time. Do you know how hard it is to teach an orcish boy the grace and elegance of the Sin’dorei?
Something big is going to happen soon, we can feel it when the earth shakes and seizes beneath our feet. I’m ready to pick up my bow and quiver to defend my family, Varendil, Saelar, Brux, Torky and my friends, where ever they may be.
Be safe my friends, come home to us soon.
So, things still aren’t looking good on the apartment front. We don’t have a place, we don’t have any roomies and I don’t even know if we have any interested in letting us crash with them until we get on our feet. School for Taylor starts in September and we obviously need a place by then unless we stay in Monroe, but transportation becomes an issue because Madison is an hour away and Taylor is starting his last semester and can’t pick and chose his classes to make them all fall on one or two days.
I really hope the search for an apartment looks up soon. It’s almost July.
In other real life related news, I am fifteen pounds away from my goal of 150! I still can’t believe I’ve managed to drop almost forty pounds in nine months! I guess that’s pretty good, right? Right?
This was me right before I found out I was diabetic:
HAY FATTY. NICE WOW POSTER AND FATNESS.
And this is me now:
I have no ass so pants just look stupid on me.
Picture taken by Tara Gershman, best photographer evar. May her website get views now!
I’m still so amazed with how far I’ve come since September last year.
I also tried on my mother’s wedding dress a few days ago. Nearly cried about it! I can’t believe my mom used to be smaller than I was when she was my age. Now she’s really overweight and working on losing the pounds through Weight Watchers (Which is a really awesome program and they make some really yummy food!) I really hope she does because she’s diabetic like I am and her health suffers a lot because of her weight. She’s down a few pounds, thankfully, but she never sticks to her diets for very long. Here’s hopin’, eh?
On the Role Play front, things are okay. It’s slow, pre-expansion blues, easy raiding and no desire for me to do it. Taylor and I were planning on starting up a guild we would call The Dawnblade Irregulars, but our IRL friends went to some new guild that formed on the server. Needless to say, Taylor was pretty upset about the whole ordeal. I’m hoping that by Cata, we’ll have our little guild and some more RP as well.
The Roleplayer’s Lament was taken over my drama and butthurt as well, last night we reached over 3k page views in one day! Apparently, faking your own death is SRS BUSINESS ON THE INTERNETS. A lot of people are still mad at the blog and Taylor and I for running it and yes, I was getting upset about all the hate that was being directed at us. But I’m hoping that over time, our blog becomes a place where people can get a few laughs and go “Oh, that’s why RPing something like this would be bad. I see now, Thanks Lan and Varen! /cheesy grin” which I know won’t happen for a while, but it’s still nice to imagine. One thing that does bug me is that Moon Guard is such a high pop server and so many roleplayers are there…and people think they can get away with making such awful, lore breaking characters. A few days ago I saw a Draenei/Blood Elf and she said her character was okay because “it’s not as bad as other lore bendy characters”
NO.
I love MG more than I’ve loved any other server. It’s lead me to wonderful friends and an incredible future with the most amazing man in the world. I love role playing, I love the story that comes from Lan and Varen walking around, trying to sell things to people. I love Lanuria explaining how different in game shots work. (Silencing Shot is by far my favorite concept ever.) And I love seeing amazing characters. I just get so upset when I hear someone say “Lol it’s moon guard, no one cares about lore here lololol” RAEG. LAN SMASH. Hopefully the next post on TRPL (‘Triple’) can cover that feeling.
But that’s about it for now. Servers are down and the blog is still getting a million page views. Better get to work on the next post!
((Can’t Rightly Think of a Title.))
Published June 22, 2010 In Character Drama! , Writing Leave a Comment“Varendil, I’m going for a stroll around the city.”
“That’s nice, dear.”
“Would you like to come? Maybe we could meet a few new people, see some old friends…”
“I really need to finish sorting these crystals, sweetie. But thanks.”
“Hey, guess what?”
“What?”
“Lila is going to throw Reanai in the fountain this evening. You want to come and watch?”
“Not tonight. I really want to finish this chapter. Do laugh at him for me, yes?”
“Sweetie?”
“What’s up?”
“Do you want to come with me to the orphanage in Shattrath? A told a little elven boy all the stories of you and he would love to meet you.”
“I really can’t tonight. I have to send these dusts out and head to the auction house.”
“Oh, well, I told him you’d come by soon.”
“Sure, soon.”
“Varendil.”
“Yes, Lan?”
“My friends in the Circle would really love to meet you. I’ve talked so much of our relationship, they would love to meet my husband.”
“Not tonight, sweets. I have some business to do. That hog of yours doesn’t run on air and sunshine, you know.”
Varendil leaned down to peck his wife on the forehead as he grabbed up the large bag that held his enchanting materials and slung it over his shoulder, straining at the weight.
“Don’t go smoking that pipe of theirs,” Varendil said as he opened the door of the apartment, “I hate it when you come home not smelling like you.” He winked at his wife before the door shut behind him, leaving Lanuria standing in the middle of their apartment.
She hung her head dejectedly, balling her hands into fists as she bit her lip and her tongue. She wanted to call after him, pull him back into the apartment and throw his enchanting materials in the trash. She wanted to take him away from the auction house he had made his second home and bring him to a party, a celebration, anything with someone other than her there. She wanted desperately, more than anything, to hear her husband say that he was going out the the guys tonight and that she wouldn’t wait up for him. She would give anything to have her husband come home and tell her about all the fun adventures he had with his friends that day. About all the laughs, about all the jokes.
But she knew that wouldn’t happen. She clenched her fists fighter.
She would kill to have him happily come along to a function of her and her circle’s. She would murder in cold blood to see her husband discuss the politics of their mission and to do it civilly. But Lanuria knew that was wasn’t her husband. Varendil didn’t want to be around people. Varendil didn’t like people. Varendil didn’t need people to make him happy. Varendil had Lanuria and that was all he needed, all he wanted.
“Varendil…”
Lanuria spoke to the door, biting her lip as she tried to fight back tears.
He never talked of his past, his childhood antics. He never spoke of childhood friends, of adventures, of those life changing moments when he was young. It was almost as if Varendil had been an old man all his life. She knew that wasn’t true, obviously, but Varendil had no friends, no buddies minus his wife and she knew it was a war torn world and that stepping up and talking of peace would get her in trouble eventually. She knew…
“What are you going to do if I pass from this world before you?”
She took a few steps back, fell into a chair and dropped her head into her hands, crying softly into the empty room.
After the druid and and the shaman said their blessings to what they call the Earthmother, Lanuria broke away from the group to visit the spot she had planted a small acorn into the soft, dark earth of Ashenvale. She didn’t expect the acorn, taken from the ground from under one of the golden beauties that covered Quel’thalas, to actually grow, but she figured she would try. This event was all about turning a lumber yard into a forest again, wasn’t it? To protect the balance of a person’s needs to what the earth would need to survive and flourish?
Lanuria really didn’t know much about the spiritual side of this event, though the orcs and trolls and tauren around her seemed to care deeply about the earth, the trees and everything around here. It was still so foreign to her and was sure it would lost on her, but she went along anyways in hopes it would bring her closer to the guild she longed to know better.
When Lanuria reached the spot where she had buried her acorn, she noticed that the solid dirt that she had packed on top of the seed was cracking, a small green vine sprouting up from the ground. She glanced over her shoulder to the group she had left behind and back to the flowering sprout, growing before her eyes. Her mouth gaped a bit as the sprout blossomed into a golden orange flower before stopping its growth suddenly.
Lanuria took a few steps back from what she thought was obviously a hallucination, rubbing her eyes at the small flower that swayed slightly with the breeze.
“By the…”
She knelled down, peering at the plant. “It can’t…that stuff doesn’t…” She rubbed her eyes again and the plant swayed once more. The ranger, obviously dumbfounded by the fact she had seen a plant grow before her very eyes just sat there for a few minutes, letting her mind absorb what she had seen, a magic her people could not control, a magic her people were basically clueless about.
A magic that she was in awe of.
Move in two months.
Get an apartment. Find a job. Pack up an entire life into boxes. Drive two days to reach a city you’ve spent no more than four hours in. Unpack your life into an apartment that will be much too small. Get a job. Pay the rent. Help Taylor with college. Be proud of him when he graduates. Pray to whatever God that he gets a job soon.
I am so scared. I haven’t done anything yet and I have two months. I seriously can’t take the stress anymore and I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it. I wish I had lots of money. I wish I had some way to just get what I need. I wish all those good things I did in life would finally come back to me.
I feel like this is going to turn into a Livejournal of sorts. I just feel so nervous.
I have to admit I haven’t been writing lately, this is fault of my own. I’ve been bored lately and my boredom has lead me to be lazy. Even lazier than before. But I’m getting back into the swing of things and enjoying seeing some old friends which I haven’t talked to in a while. I’ve also been enjoying messing with the Seventh.
The Blood Knights are always good entertainment.
I’ve also found a guild I am interested in joining, though I worry about how I would fit in with the group that is…well, there aren’t many of my kind there. It’s a bit..nerve wracking. I’ve always been awkward at talking to other races, and most trolls have accents I can barely understand. It’s hard enough having Orcish as a third language, but damnit! Can’t they speak like everyone else? Argh.
They seem like a good group of people, though. They work toward peace between Horde and Alliance, which is something I can get behind very easily, considering my work with the Argent Dawn, Shattersun Offensive, The Aldor, the Naaru and of course, the Argent Crusade, this should be very easy for me to get in to. I’m still nervous as all hell, though. I don’t remember that last time I talked to an Orc that wasn’t Brux or Torky and don’t get me started on Tauren! I am always afraid my leatherworking and love of a cold glass of milk will offend them! Hopefully I have another chance to talk to them this week, I would love to know more and maybe even convince Varendil to come along. I doubt he will, as he isn’t one to sit around and tell stories, but he’s not doing anything right now but working on the shop and making gold selling materials. He’s been dealing with a few…shady people from what I’ve seen. I do pray he doesn’t get himself into a spot of trouble. Light knows what I would do if he got himself hurt!
Just thinking about it makes me sick.
In other family related news, Saelar and Varendil seem to be getting along a little bit better now, which is a weight off my shoulder. I would love to have a little more family in my life, since all I have left is Varendil.
I miss Sal.
The starship Heart of Gold was the first space craft to contain the Infinite Improbability Drive. The Infinite Improbability Drive is a small golden box in the heart of the ship. It is a wonderful new method of crossing interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace. With it, the improbable happen.
People turn in penguins, sofas, whales fall from the sky along with potted plants. People meet. People fall in love.
Taylor told me, at the beginning of our relationship, that we were unlikely. That the Heart of Gold is right outside the window, that it’s going to show up any moment. The sheer amount of little details that lead us to meet are something that would come out of book. One boyfriend lead me to one game, which lead me to one school, which lead me to one website, that lead me to another boyfriend that lead me to one server, one channel, one RP, one little storyline. Little did we both know at the time that we would end up in this situation. It is, indeed, improbable.
I’ve said before that his mother’s death was the reason I fell in love with him, but it was just the event that made me fully aware of my feelings. He had been my best friend and even though I was with someone else, the feelings were overwhelming. I was head over heels. I sent flowers, I wrote the right thing, I wanted nothing more than to be there.
His mother had a ring, a claddagh ring. A simple little golden band with two hands, a crown and a golden heart in the middle. His mother made him promise to take care of it. To treasure it always. He did, faithfully. Soon the chain that held that ring held another, a silver band from the girl miles away in Florida, the girl that gave up everything everyone else wanted for her for the one thing she so desired.
And soon, that ring was placed on a single finger, on the left hand, in the middle of a busy restaurant. Strangers appluaded and rushed phone calls were made, Facebook statuses were updated and it was all offical.
And as we drove home, Taylor told me again that the Heart of Gold is stalking us. I look down to the ring that belonged to the woman that, in theory, made all this possible. I snickered. “It’s right here,” and pointed to the ring.
“God is a terrible writer.”
Needless to say, our wedding will be decorated with either shoe shaped spaceships or tiny little golden hearts.
I’ve been growing angrier at Varendil these past few days. I don’t even know why, but the urge to punch him has been growing stronger and I can’t figure out why. I wouldn’t want to cause harm to him, I love him beyond words that I can express, but sometimes…ARGH!
We got into a fight over nothing last night. I poked at him, aggravated him and wished he would fight with me. I wanted to scream, yell, cause a scene. I wanted to cry. I did when he left after we made up. I can’t figure it out!
Maybe it’s this damned holiday. Children’s Week. This didn’t effect me to much last year! We had Lissa, we had a family. Now she’s gone and there is this empty hole that I can’t fill. I can’t replace her but I want to! I need to! I’ve tried working with the kids, I’ve tried potions, magic spells, my body is useless after years of abuse, drinks and potions basically cursed me to become a woman who could never have the one thing she desired. But for a few short months, I had it. I had a daughter, I had a child and even if she wasn’t mine, she was pretty damn close! If she didn’t die…I would have that family. I wouldn’t be snapping at my husband because I KNOW this isn’t his fault, he isn’t the one to blame for my apparent uselessness, but the fact he won’t try…the fact he won’t consider taking in a small child, the fact he’s still too heartbroken to move on. Why does this bug me so? Why does this make me so angry at him? It’s not his fault I can’t have a child, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s the way the world wanted it. But when I see orphans, my heart breaks. Why did THEY have children and just die? Just give them up? Why doesn’t the Light grant me my wishes, my desires?
I hate this holiday.
My ring.
Look at those ugly hands!
Story about the proposal and various other romantic flim flam will be tomorrow, most likely. Taylor’s still here. >:3
