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Heart of Gold

The starship Heart of Gold was the first space craft to contain the Infinite Improbability Drive. The Infinite Improbability Drive is a small golden box in the heart of the ship. It is a wonderful new method of crossing interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace. With it, the improbable happen.

People turn in penguins, sofas, whales fall from the sky along with potted plants. People meet. People fall in love.

Taylor told me, at the beginning of our relationship, that we were unlikely. That the Heart of Gold is right outside the window, that it’s going to show up any moment.  The sheer amount of little details that lead us to meet are something that would come out of book. One boyfriend lead me to one game, which lead me to one school, which lead me to one website, that lead me to another boyfriend that lead me to one server, one channel, one RP, one little storyline. Little did we both know at the time that we would end up in this situation. It is, indeed, improbable.

I’ve said before that his mother’s death was the reason I fell in love with him, but it was just the event that made me fully aware of my feelings. He had been my best friend and even though I was with someone else, the feelings were overwhelming. I was head over heels. I sent flowers, I wrote the right thing, I wanted nothing more than to be there.

His mother had a ring, a claddagh ring. A simple little golden band with two hands, a crown and a golden heart in the middle. His mother made him promise to take care of it. To treasure it always. He did, faithfully. Soon the chain that held that ring held another, a silver band from the girl miles away in Florida, the girl that gave up everything everyone else wanted for her for the one thing she so desired.

And soon, that ring was placed on a single finger, on the left hand, in the middle of a busy restaurant. Strangers appluaded and rushed phone calls were made, Facebook statuses were updated and it was all offical.

And as we drove home, Taylor told me again that the Heart of Gold is stalking us. I look down to the ring that belonged to the woman that, in theory, made all this possible. I snickered. “It’s right here,” and pointed to the ring.

“God is a terrible writer.”

Needless to say, our wedding will be decorated with either shoe shaped spaceships or tiny little golden hearts.

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Hate.

I’ve been growing angrier at Varendil these past few days. I don’t even know why, but the urge to punch him has been growing stronger and I can’t figure out why. I wouldn’t want to cause harm to him, I love him beyond words that I can express, but sometimes…ARGH!

We got into a fight over nothing last night. I poked at him, aggravated him and wished he would fight with me. I wanted to scream, yell, cause a scene. I wanted to cry. I did when he left after we made up.  I can’t figure it out!

Maybe it’s this damned holiday. Children’s Week. This didn’t effect me to much last year! We had Lissa, we had a family. Now she’s gone and there is this empty hole that I can’t fill. I can’t replace her but I want to! I need to! I’ve tried working with the kids, I’ve tried potions, magic spells, my body is useless after years of abuse, drinks and potions basically cursed me to become a woman who could never have the one thing she desired. But for a few short months, I had it. I had a daughter, I had a child and even if she wasn’t mine, she was pretty damn close! If she didn’t die…I would have that family. I wouldn’t be snapping at my husband because I KNOW this isn’t his fault, he isn’t the one to blame for my apparent uselessness, but the fact he won’t try…the fact he won’t consider taking in a small child, the fact he’s still too heartbroken to move on. Why does this bug me so? Why does this make me so angry at him? It’s not his fault I can’t have a child, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s the way the world wanted it. But when I see orphans, my heart breaks. Why did THEY have children and just die? Just give them up? Why doesn’t the Light grant me my wishes, my desires?

I hate this holiday.

By Popular Demand

My ring.

Look at those ugly hands!

Story about the proposal and various other romantic flim flam will be tomorrow, most likely. Taylor’s still here. >:3

Varendil Dawnblade Is

Neil Patrick Harris.

Oh boy.

Life has been busy. I admit, I haven’t been RPing on Lanuria lately. I’ve picked up raiding again, enjoying it and the new people I’ve meet and with Lanuria and Varendil’s story complete (For the moment), Taylor and I don’t get on and into our characters as much. If Lan is around, she’s still IC, like always, but right now, she’s busy in Orgrimmar, working hard on her and Varendil’s shop..which will never really open thanks to Cataclysm and the rumor that the Blood Elves, Trolls and Forsaken will be kicked out of Orgrimmar. The expansion is going to open a lot more Role Play for Lan and Varen, we can’t wait for it.

In terms of RP, another reason we haven’t been on our characters is because we have received a lot of hate (Which doesn’t outnumber the amount of praise) we get from our blog, The Roleplayer’s Lament. While a lot of people love the blog, we are not approached much for IC interactions, though we do get a lot of love from people. If you like us, role play with us! We would love to have a storyline with you. ❤

In terms of real life, Taylor is coming down in 17 days to meet my parents and family. This is always an important thing to me for some reason and he’s agreed to come down here to meet them. We are also planning on telling my parents about our plans which include, but not limited to moving up to Wisconsin for Taylor’s last semester of classes at his school before starting a new adventure with him. I’m nervous, scared to death about it. I’ve never lived more than an hour and a half from my parents, not more than thirty minutes from any family, so moving up to Wisconsin where I know a hand full of people is very scary. Though, I think I will like Madison. It’s a nice liberal town with fun things to do. I hope I can find a good job and be comfortable there. I know I’ll freeze to death but I have an amazing boyfriend to keep me warm.

Other than my real life stepping it up a notch, Lan and Varendil celebrate a year of married life on April 17th. I can’t believe it’s been a year since they got married! Taylor will actually be here with me during their anniversary, so I plan on going out to a nice fancy restaurant  to celebrate. I think it would be cute to go out to celebrate the reason we met and fell in love, yes?

I plan on redoing the blog. I need a place to vent about work, about raiding and about real life. Expect a lot more IRL posts from me, but I’ll still try and keep up with a few short stories of Lan.

Journal 3.5

It’s been a few weeks since we retired from the Argent. It’s been…fun, I guess. The shop is finally looking like a real shop and our apartment has finally began to feel like a real home.

But something seems off. Something seems…

I don’t know if I like this. I don’t know if I can get used to not fighting.

We’ll see how it goes.

Trendy.

WordPress has an app for the Android, which I am very happy about! Now I can blog from random place…like my car! Or…my living room! Or my bed! Or airports! Yeah!

I love being trendy and having a tiny little computer with me at all times. Best investment ever!


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